Disciplining your child effectively can be difficult. Here you will learn easy strategies on how to guide your child’s behavior. Setting clear limits for your child helps him/her grow into a happy and healthy adult. As a parent, you should start setting these limits around the second year, when children begin to understand what is okay and what is not. As your child grows, offer him/her choices and involve him/her in making the rules. This helps your child become independent and accept responsibility for his/her actions. If you set a good example and praise appropriate behavior, your job will be much easier. Setting limits helps children learn how to set their own limits, raises their self-esteem and teaches children self-control. Discipline is teaching, not punishing.

Here are some things you should know when guiding your young one:

• Don’t worry about spoiling babies under a year old. Give your baby prompt, loving attention. Babies feel insecure and anxious when their needs are not met. When your baby does something you don’t like, gently move him or remove the dangerous object from his path. Babies are fragile. Hitting or shaking a baby can cause brain damage or even death. Yelling upsets babies. When your baby cries you can breastfeed her, change her diaper, walk with her, cuddle with her or massage her. Also check to see if your baby is sick or teething. Check for a fever or swollen gums.
• Start setting limits in the second year. Be consistent, patient and flexible. Respect your child and he will learn respect for himself and others. Put rules in the positive. Tell and show your child what you want him to do. Praise and hug your child for appropriate behavior. Save the “no’s” for important limits, like those involving safety. By 15 months, children begin to understand how to behave. You can set a few simple limits such as not running into the street. Children ages 3 to 4 are better able to understand and do what you expect.
• When your child is old enough, make the rules and decide on the consequences together. Be sure the consequences are reasonable and consistent. Avoid shaming or humiliating your child. Don’t hit or shout at your child. It increases tension and damages self esteem. Criticize the behavior, not the child. “Don’t run into the street. You could get hurt!” is better than “You’re a bad boy!” Also be specific. “Draw on the paper, not on the wall” is better than “Act your age!” Give your child limited choices. When children have choices, they feel more in control and less frustrated.
• When your child loses control, stay calm. This helps your child feel safe and models a good way to react to stress. Soothe your child. Some toddlers need physical contact and a hug to calm down, others are easily distracted with another activity, and some children do well with a few minutes of “time-out.”After your child is calm, teach him the correct behavior.
• Make sure that what you expect from your child is reasonable for your child’s age. For example, most 4-year olds can wait quietly, but a toddler cannot.
• Look for a parenting class. Call your local school district or adult education program.

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